so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
