were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
