Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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