I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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