I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
