Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize