ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
