just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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