is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
