There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
