lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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