There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
