His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
