So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
