he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
