now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
