i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
