My girlfriend figured out who you are.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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