come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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