Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
