So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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