Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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