wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
