I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
