found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
