Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You were trust falling into bushes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
