PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
