Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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