Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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