do herpes really smell.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
