So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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