Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
