just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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