How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
