He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize