I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just had sex bonerless
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
