yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
