did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
