there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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