Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
