i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
