You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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