:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize