Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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