what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize