Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I could fuck to npr.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
