Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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