when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
