I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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