capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
