Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
