i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
