youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
well you can't waste a boner
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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