why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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