Me too!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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