Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
