So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
