please come you make the beer taste better
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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