i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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